Unscripted

I feel like I've been living in a thick cloud; a cloud of stress, schedules, and failed plans. I've been trudging through this cloud sending emails, mailing resumes, and doing homework that I had procrastinating like crazy on. A couple of weekends ago, Megan and I traveled to Castleton to catch up with Jake and Kate and see their Spring show Chicago. We had a great time, and the weather was so beautiful it was almost like nothing could go wrong.

Also, I was wearing my piano key suspenders for the win.

That was when everything started to go crazy. It started when the job I had been lining up this summer, the one I held last summer that allowed me to stay in Burlington for free, completely fell through because the 18 days I'm going to be in Europe this summer on Eurotheatre are too much to take off. Suddenly, I felt lost, and entirely without a plan. I can't live without a plan. What was I going to do without a job for the summer? Where was I going to get money to apply to grad school? So many questions were racing through my head about what this summer is going to look like, and what next year is going to be like especially since Megan got accepted to the University of New Hampshire for graduate school. It's entirely too much change for me to handle. I'M NOT THAT GOOD AT IMPROVISATION! WHAT DO I DO WITHOUT A SCRIPT???

Then Megan took me out on a drive and a walk around downtown Montpelier, just to talk, and to bitch about how crazy life is and what I'm doing with it. That was when I realized...I have so many more skills than I give myself credit for, and there is no reason why I can't use them. Why can't I get a job doing what I love? It's so not impossible, despite what people may say about theatre majors. Theatre, movement, creating, performing, writing, teaching...that's what I'm good at, it's probably all I'm good at, so why am I not using it to my advantage? Why don't I write my own script? So that night, I emailed a bunch of different theatres, and I received a few replies back, and I sent out my resumes, and you know what? I'm going for an interview next week.

I'm not saying that everything's all good now, because it's really not. Rehearsals for the senior directed one-act I'm starring in are going so well, but I'm still super nervous. This will be the biggest role I've had in a show at UVM, and it's thrilling but at the same time terrifying. I'm also worried about setting everything up for next year going into my senior year of college (yikes!) like being a new Program Director in the Living/Learning residences, some opportunities in the works, and my honors thesis project I'm going to be working on that I seem to be churning out ideas about everyday...and what's going to happen after next year when I have to look for another new school. I'm still so stressed about the logistics of this summer, but there are a few things I do know: I'm going to Europe in June (YES!!!), I'm going to be taking a summer English class to take some of the load off myself next year, and I'm going to have some kind of job somewhere that some sort of amount of money (I don't care how much...it's something) doing what I LOVE and what I'm good at. Because I'm better than being stuck in a rut, and I'm better than the same old scripts that have been written for me before.

I'm adding in a PLOT TWIST.

Peace out!

Beauty

I made the most amazing chocolate chip cookies last weekend. You know you want one.

Friday morning at work I made the most excellent Harry Potter themed weather board in anticipation of the FINAL MOVIE this past weekend.

Jake was supposed to come over this past weekend so we could all go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 together but unfortunately Jake's car broke down. So, no Jake this weekend, but Megan and I still had a super awesome weekend which began with a lot of crying, cheering, and sobbing. Yes, I did all of those things while watching Harry Potter because to me, and to a whole generation of people, this movie really marks the end of an era. It marks the end of our childhoods, the last thing we grew up with.

I finished my re-read of the series on Friday just as I finished my desk shift. As I walked upstairs, I wiped tears from my eyes thinking about the adventures I had just been through, all the emotions I had felt, and all the lessons I had learned with Harry and his friends. And in one day's time, I knew that it was all going to end.  It's crazy how something so simple can effect people, and how a single story can make connections between people.

My hands shook as the opening credits played and my heart stopped when I remembered Dobby's death. I laughed when Hermione transformed into the evil Bellatrix Lestrange (Helena Bonham Carter is a genius.), I cheered when Harry, Ron, and Hermione escaped Gringotts on the back of a dragon, I cried when Professor McGonagall unleashed her rage against the man who had murdered Dumbledore, I shook when Voldemort and the Death Eaters came to Hogwarts and began the battle, I screamed when Nagini murdered Snape and sobbed when Harry learned of Snape's true alliance, I weeped when Harry learned his true destiny and marched into the Forbidden Forest with his family by his side, I smiled when Harry survived the Avada Kedavra curse again only to come back to the castle and fight and win.

It was amazing, and a beautiful ending. To watch Harry send his own children off to Hogwarts was the most brilliant ending there could be. Thank you for these stories J.K. Rowling, you have brought so much joy to so many children with your writing.

On the way to Middlebury to dance in the street - Big Band style.

A U.F.O.! Of course a theatre would have this set up.

The coolest storefront ever.

One thought that's crossed my mind lately is the way actors work. I don't want to give my own tools away because their mine, but most teachers (Hagen, Stanislavski, Strasberg, Meisner, mostly The Method) talk about finding a substitution for the emotional moment of a scene from your own past. For example, if I had a scene where a character was arguing with someone who abandoned him, I would try to think of a moment in my own life when I ever felt abandoned or betrayed to substitute that real emotion into the character. (For me, sometimes this really isn't enough. I like the Practical Aesthetics method introduced by David Mamet which involves create a physical image of a character, imagining the "given circumstances," and then filling in with substitutions and emotions.) Megan brought up the strange dilemma to me when actors stop feeling in real life, and the only way they can express emotion becomes the stage in a character, they're not able to have emotion themselves. It's kind of that image of the "stoic actor" who is very pompous, speaks in monotone, but when they get on the stage they completely transform.

In a way, the stage becomes an actor's form of therapy. But is it crossing a line when an actor can no longer feel in their own lives? I think the answer is yes. Uta Hagen talks about how the actor needs to be a vessel for emotion, and in an interview with Jennifer Anniston that Megan and I were watching, she mentioned how she feels like the actor has a deep well of emotion that they just use. Being that "emotional sponge" is the way an actor becomes a character. Actors have to let emotion effect them. Always. That's how we get the tools we need to play characters. We need to embrace the brilliant happiness and deeply feel sadness and anger in order to convincingly use the entire spectrum of human emotion when creating the aesthetic of a character.

So that's why I cried, laughed, cheered, and sobbed through Harry Potter. Because that's what I felt, and I was filling my well.

Peace out!

It's The Little Things

and then we went on a little trip to Toys 'R Us...

It's Barbie's black friends!

Slutty Barbie waits for Ken to come home...

Megan is a Stormtrooper.

Beyblades! Jake I used to love to play with these!

These stuffed animals sang different pitches when you pressed them. and their mouths moved. Weird.

I wanna drive this around!

The Biebs loves to be played with by small children...

It's the small things that entertain us. Happy Birthday to me! (Tomorrow)

Peace out!

A Midautumn Weekend's Dream

This weekend was pretty rockin' despite the mega amounts of homework that needs to be done this week before the most epic Thanksgiving break in Florida can begin (oh yeah, it's happening). I guess the weekend started Thursday night when Megan, Ashley, and I went to Higher Ground to The Mix college dance party. I was the first one there because Megan was pimpin' out her hair and Ashley wanted to take pictures. Some random girl asked me to dance with her which was pretty sweet until she ditched me, then danced with me again, then ditched me again once Megan and Ashley got there. Why am I so good at this? Needless to say, the party was okay. Definitely had better but it was till a late night. Unfortunately, I had to get up for work at 7 in the morning because A Doll's House had a morning high school student matinee and the box office had to open at 8:30. I don't remember what time I went to bed, but it definitely wasn't conducive to that ungodly hour. What was awesome was that they were serving everyone involved in the production that morning free food and coffee. The coffee was mine. I had four cups...it was pretty strong too...I was like a super box office employee!

"HELLO UVM THEATRE BOX OFFICE HOW MAY I HELP YOU!?!?!"

It was a fantastic morning. The day got even more fantastic when Jake arrived to hang out for the weekend. This is the first time Jake has come to visit this semester, so I was excited to show him Converse, especially the sketchy, ghost-infested upstairs and my new cave in my room, which Megan and I had a blast creating. We somehow were able to maneuver my closet of a room to bunk my bed and put the mattress underneath. It's epic.

That night, we traveled to Montpelier, VT to see A Midsummer Night's Dream at U-32 high school where Erin now teaches. The performance was awesome. It was so good to see Erin in a place that totally accepts her and actually gives her the funding and everything she needs to put on fantastic shows. I mean, not that we didn't have fantastic shows...I mean...come on. It's just...by watching that performance I could just see what good funding can do. Underfunding for the arts will always exist because most people just don't understand the value of amazing art, but there are moments when we as artists can rise above it and create something beautiful.

After having a great time at the show and visiting with Erin and Jason, we stopped at Cumby's on our way back to B-town. After stocking up on junk food and a Yoo-Hoo, we went up to the counter...then...some redneck Vermonter who does what he wanna comes in:

"HEY I BEEN WAITIN' 20 MINUTES FOR A FRIGGIN' GAS CYLINDER WHAT'S GOIN' ON!?!"

"I'm sorry I've had a lot of customers...I'm just trying to help everyone..."

"NOW!"

Oh you're so cool you can boss around a store clerk. Anyway, she went out to help him leaving us standing at the counter. There's no one else in the store. We realize we probably could have stolen everything in the store and left because they had gone around to the back. Just as we said that, some guys came into the store. I pooped myself. We seriously thought these tough-looking guys were going to rob the store with us in it. Then another guy came in wearing a black jacket.

"Just give me a second and I can help you out."

Where did he come from??? Needless to say, we got checked out and we ran out of that store. The woman came back in, even though we totally thought the redneck had murdered her in the back. It was scary. Anyway, we made it out of that situation and onto a new day when my parents came over because they were going to a concert at the Champlain Valley Fairgrounds. Megan went to Montreal with the Social Work club and me, my parents, and Jake went to IHOP for breakfast. Later I had dance rehearsal, but the building was locked so we couldn't get in. So we did what theater kids do best and made a spectacle of ourselves. Warm up outside! The weather was beautiful so it was perfect to dance in.

It was a  good weekend. I felt bad that I had to leave Jake in the room while I went to rehearsal and work but I think we had a good time overall. Now it's time for the final week before Thanksgiving break and Florida time for me and Megan. It cannot come any sooner.

Peace out!

Peeing Dogs, Five Pound Burritos, and Other Disgusting Things

Sorry I haven't blogged in, like, forever. Life has been absolutely crazy especially because at work everyone is on vacation, so I've inherited everyone's forgotten hours. Not that I don't love the money that's coming in, but it's getting to the point of ridiculous. On top of that, the QNEK show Curtains is opening tonight so rehearsals have been intense and long to say the least. Jake also started coming to rehearsals because he is going to be the assistant lighting god for the show. Kate Ruggles and Ashley Audette (two amazing friends from LI theater) are also starting to come because they are going to be working on the tech for the show. It's really starting to piece together, and I couldn't be more excited, but I also couldn't be more exhausted. Anyway, as a token of my return to the blogosphere, here is a journal of gross/interesting things that have happened to me in the past couple of weeks:

Saturday, July 31st, 2010: About three weeks before this date I promised my neighbor that I would take care of their two dogs and two cats for the night before their real house sitter arrived for the week. Cool. Extra money. Also on this day, Kat and I had planned to put on a Very Potter Musical Party in celebration of the sequel release. (If you do not yet know the amazingness of A Very Potter Musical, click here) Also that night, Lynn was having us perform at the Westmore Community Center at a variety show to advertise for Curtains. So, at two o'clock I rushed out of work, threw the dogs outside to pee, ran around doing stuff around the house, had a five minute shower, threw on clothes, rushed the dogs into their kennels while two terrified cats watched from a distance and ran out of the house to pick up four people and go to the party. Once at the party, I received my missing costume pieces for my Professor Quirrel costume (it was a costume party). This involved me strapping a dummy to my back.

The party was very fun even though Carol, Lissy (Lynn's stepdaughter who is also in the show), and I had to leave fairly early. Carol made butterbeer though which was out of this world amazing. Anyway, this entire time during the party, the performance, the ride to and from; I was nervous about the dogs peeing in their cages because my neighbor told me they can only last about five hours. It was borderline six. I don't think I've sped so much in my life on the way home. I raced into the house only to find that my mom had come to let the dogs out. Okay. So I changed and started watching Grease 2 on ABC Family (worse movie ever, but there's always entertainment value in laughing at it) when one of the dogs decides it's cool to come over and start humping my arm. Awesome. No thanks, I don't roll that way. Anyway, it was an eventful night to be sure.

Friday, August 6, 2010: During a full 40 hour work week which included cleaning up a giant grease spill which night crew decided wasn't important enough to take care of, some of my friends and I decided to go to this Mexican restaurant in Littleton, NH to get 5 pound burritos. No joke. It was one of those eating contests like Man vs. Food kind of deals. These things were massive.

In the end, I only ate half of the burrito which was entirely enough. It was full of beans which caused some unpleasantness towards morning. That night was fine, I even ate a Reeses about half an hour after the fact, but that morning at work was awful. I almost threw up. Well, that's enough of that.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010: Eden's Birthday! I had to go with the techies early to rehearsal this day so they could do a tech run through. Later, I was asked to go make a group order at the Derby McDonald's. 20 minutes later, I was leaving with a massive, almost 60 dollar group order that consisted of four large bags and nine drinks. I think the employees were very pleased with me.

Thursday, August 12, 2010: Last night. Final dress rehearsal. During the rehearsal, the resident bat that likes to make its home in the fly space of the Haskell decided to descend upon us while we were running through the show. After one scene, it vanished. An hour later when rehearsal was over the director, Susan-Lynn, asked me to carry a box of muslin down to her car. I rode the elevator down to the bottom floor, got off, and found the bat. The creature flew out of nowhere right near my face. I shrieked and dropped the box in an effort to defend myself against the vile thing. Meanwhile, Kat is grabbing a butterfly net to catch it.

Well, I hope you have enjoyed this account. I hope to see you all at Curtains!

Peace out!

The 100th Post!

Yes folks, this is the 100th post of the not-so-well-known "My Life In Progress." I just want to thank all of you out there who are reading this (who basically is Megan, Velvet, Ashley, Jake, and friends who happen to find it on facebook), but I'm finding blogging to be an amazing outlet for not only creativity, but also a place to just share my thoughts on life and any troubles going on in the moment. It's a place to unleash things that have been plaguing my mind. But also it's a place to share adventures, crazy stories, and moments of love and inspiration. Thank you to all of you who have been and continue to read, post comments, and share your own feelings on your own blogs.

There's no way I'm stopping now! Here's to another 100 posts and then some!

Peace out!