There's A Squirrel In The Car!

This story begins with my last post and the gigantic snow storm that terrorized Vermont last week. That morning when my dad woke me up at five in the morning to dig his car out but just ended up taking my mom's car was the beginning of another horror. My dad brought a little friend with him to work, a squirrel to be exact. I can't really disclose why the squirrel came with him to work (I'm sworn to secrecy), but it did.

And somehow the squirrel got loose in the car.

My dad said the squirrel was going to jump out of the car, saw the epic blizzard of nasty poop outside, and ran back into the car. My dad searched the car, but couldn't find the pesky critter. He opened all the doors, and hopefully let the squirrel out, right?

Fast-forward a day. I'm up at Lyndon State College where my mom works to use my computer because we're in the sticks of Lyndonville, and at my house there is no internet. You know my woes. Anyway, my mom gets off work, and I decide to stay and use the computer for another hour. One second later, my mom is standing in the doorway:

"RYAN, YOU NEED TO SKIP STAYING..."


"What?"


"YOU NEED TO SKIP STAYING AND HELP ME. GUESS WHO'S IN THE CAR?"


"Who?"


"THE SQUIRREL!!!!!!!"


"WHAT!?!?!?!"

"I GO OUT TO THE CAR AND IT'S SITTING ON THE DAMN CONSOLE SUNNING ITSELF!!!!!!!!!!!"


We rush out to the parking lot where my mom had opened all the doors and the trunk hatch in an attempt to let the squirrel out. We try to look around the car and inside to find the beast, but all we find is squirrel poop. My mom is SCREAMING this entire time as I start laughing my ASS off. I laugh so hard that tears start pouring from my eyes and I almost puke on the pavement. My favorite moment of the search was when we thought the squirrel had gotten inside the glove box, so I quickly threw it open, and my mom shrieked a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream.

There was nothing there.

In a last resort, we drive the car home (panicky mind you, that the squirrel is going to jump out at us at any minute, my mom is still screaming), leave it in the driveway, open everything up again, and let our cats outside to roam around and hopefully chase the varmint out of the car. About fifteen minutes later, I look outside and see both cats inside the car and a squirrel running away. It was gone.

All I could think to myself was, oh my God, we rode in the car with the squirrel...

Peace out!