Am I Doing Enough? An Aristotelian Analysis

So far this week has been incredibly busy. Basically, and almost entirely, with homework. It's homework that I've been procrastinating on, or just didn't want to do, and also homework that was sort of interesting, but I still didn't want to do it. It was a lot. Part of said homework was the 1000 word paper I had to write for Dramatic Analysis on the plot structure of Sophocles' Antigone.

Anyway...also recently I've been thinking about where I'm at, what I've been doing, and where I want to go. Mainly in the world of theater. Theater is sort of like religion. Sometimes you doubt yourself (actually, a lot) and whether it is right for you, or if you're actually good at it, or if you even have talent at all. I've kind of been in a place of doubt lately not just about myself and my abilities, but weather or not I'm doing enough now to better myself for my future later. Even though I've changed my focus from trying to be a Broadway star to being a theater teacher, that doesn't mean there are things I still don't have to do to prepare: like graduate school. What do I have to do for that?

I've learned to be kind of honest with myself. Even though I doubt my talents, myself, and theater sometimes, just like when I doubt my religion, I think it over and I remember how I first felt when I found theater. I remember the joy it brings me, and I renew my faith in it's power. And I renew my faith in myself. But I also see that probably the Broadway dream is a reach for me. I live in Vermont and I don't really have the ideal body type/look for a leading man. I need to face reality. I need to do something where I am going to make money so maybe later on, one day, I can achieve my dreams. And then there's always starting my own theater, that dream will totally never die.

The thing is, right now I feel stagnant. I felt the same way last year. I'm not in a play, I'm not in a major choir (though I love Music Makers) nor am I taking voice lessons, and I'm not dancing or moving really in any way. I almost feel trapped, which isn't very cool. I just hope things start to pick up and there's some way I can do something. I do feel so much more comfortable at UVM this year than I did last year. I'm working in the box office, I have awesome friends, I'm working hard in my classes, and I'm working on UPlayers stuff to keep up with all the theater. I guess that's really all I can do. I'm trying, I really am.

Peace out!