Do I Look Drunk? and Other Silly Stories

Hello hello! It's been quite awhile since I last posted, but there's been so much going on and so much left to do before the end of the semester. This whole week has been a blur on constant activity, running around, and not getting things done. Unfortunately, I'm sick on top of all that and with Stop Kiss auditions at UVM and Hairspray auditions with Lyric Theatre at the Flynn coming up in the next week (yes, I'm auditioning for two plays at once!), things are a little tense. I just wanted to give you an update on everything that's been going on this past week. Ready...set...go!

For all of you Vermonters out there, last Tuesday was Free Cone Day at Ben and Jerry's. This of course being the best holiday of the Spring, I was prepared for this. Ben and Jerry's is truly the only ice cream I really love, unfortunately it's terribly expensive so if I can get it for free, you bet I'm going to exploit that frozen sugary gold mine. Earlier in the day, the RTT gang headed to the Davis Center Ben and Jerry's for free cones after lunch (which we ate in line), then when Megan got out of work she came up to UVM and we got more cones.

The line was huge.

Our costume shop supervisor at RTT Alan (He's awesome. Just sayin'.) suggested we just take the truck.

Daffodils! Spring! Yay!

Then we headed downtown to raid the main Ben and Jerry's store! The line went all the way down the block to the Rite Aid. It was pretty intense.

Yay! More cones! Three total for the day, not a bad turn out for Free Cone Day.

Later that week was the opening of RTT's Spring Festival of Plays, or the senior's final projects, to put it frankly. I ran the light board (Yeah, that's right. I got technical. It was pretty crazy and I was insanely nervous. It was a great experience and it's awesome to have that on my resume, but it only confirmed that tech is not my thing. I didn't do so well on the taking orders and procedure bit. The show was awesome though.) for two performances, ushering for another, and working in the box office for the rest. It was a busy weekend, to say the least.

On Saturday I ran the light board for the matinee performance and ushered that night, so I went to grab dinner with Alice (Have I introduced Alice to the blog yet? One of my BFFs at RTT. SO MANY ACRONYMS!!!) who was also ushering. While we were waiting for the bus to go back to the theatre, this random drunk guy runs up to us.

"Okay, you three (there were three of us at the bus stop) as a collective whole, do I look or sound drunk!?"

Right from the get go this is not going to turn out well because the guy is quite obviously drunk.

"'Cuz I just got kicked out of Springfest (concert thing at UVM) because they thought I was pushin' people. I'm just a tall guy and when you stand like this (he proceeded to make some sort of weird pose with his hands behind his head and his crotch thrusted out) they think you're pushin' people when all you're tryin' to do is brace yourself!"

He then told us his ingenious plan to sneak back into Springfest even though the police specifically told him they were going to arrest him if he tried to come back. He was going to disguise himself. Of course I couldn't understand him a lot of the time because he was slurring his words. Fun times at UVM...

Needless to say, the one acts were fantastic and the Vermont Pub and Brewery party which Megan came to was a lot of fun. Even though I slowly got sick during that weekend, I managed to survive as did everyone involved. This cold that seeped into my throat, chest, voice, and sinuses was slowly wreaking havoc on my strength for the Catamount Singers concert which was approaching on Monday. That whole day I spent on vocal rest except for doing a skit in Theatre History and rehearsal for that night. It was brutal, but it did wonders to keep up my vocal agility for the concert. However, within the last hour before the concert was a stressful load of stress. I ran downtown to run some errands (including buying a dozen eggs for my lighting project on "Born This Way" which was amazing by the way), ate dinner, had a group meeting, realized that the black shirt I needed for the concert was left at The Q, ran to my dorm to grab all my other clothes, ran to The Q to get ready, and then Megan drove me to the concert. I was a hot mess that evening, but the concert went off without a hitch! It was a beautiful culmination to all the work we had been putting in all semester. Congrats Cat Singers!

Flashforward to Wednesday when the UPlayers threw their awesome 4/20 Bake Sale. It was projected to be successful because all those stoners need their munchies right? Some of our awesome slogans were: 

"YOU GOT THE MUNCHIES WE GOT THE CURE!"

"BAKED GOODS FOR THE BAKED! (or not baked...whatever you prefer...)"

and my personal favorite:

"GET YOUR BAKE ON!"

It was a wildly successful bake sale. We even raffled off a giant cupcake filled with pudding and a strawberry cake even though they both went to our costuming professor...

Sam trying to stuff our crappy Student Government providing tent into its bag. Thanks for the crappy tent SGA!

As you can see, it's been a pretty busy week here in Burly World. Hopefully this cold will pass me by soon as I go home for Easter weekend. Everyone have a lovely Easter!

Peace out!

Lope Is My Friend: A Spanish Comedia

Yesterday I (and all of the Theatre History students at RTT) turned in their gigantic final research papers for the semester. It was quite a feat finishing that beast, let me tell you. Mine came out to about 16 pages with 60 endnotes, 4086 words, and a four page bibliography. I could not be more proud of it, though. It's beautiful. It's my personal little (or not-so-little) work of art. And in the whole process of researching and writing this monstrosity, I think I made a friend.

That friend is Lope de Vega, a 16th Century Spanish Renaissance playwright and poet, and the subject of my paper. Lope was a child prodigy of the written word, and once claimed that he had written fifteen hundred plays in the span of his life. He had a dark past filled with women (LOTS of women, Lope was a player. He finally married an insane woman. Literally, insane.), exile, travels throughout Spain, death, a stint as an ordained priest, and an eventual decline in popularity, health, and well being. This totally did not stop him from being completely awesome, though. He had huge impacts in the world of literary drama and theatre. Lope was writing during the Spanish Golden Age of theatre when the private and public spheres were colliding, when the world of theatre was becoming professional with acting troupes (which even included women on the stage), when elaborate costumes were paid for and contributed by the community, and the building of permanent theatres. In 1609, Lope went before the Madrid Academy (the big cheese of the Spanish literary world) and introduced his Arte nuevo de hacer comedias en este tiempo in which he introduced a new form of the comedia (play). Lope's form would become the national drama of Spain because it combined the classical styles with modern Spanish concepts to create more accessibility with its audiences. Not only that, but Lope's dramas emphasized the theme of honor in the lowest classes on people, even peasants. He also created strong female roles which embodied honor and a woman's virtue. Lope was amazing, despite his personal failings.

My paper also explored the reasons why we as a Western culture do not know anything or study anything about Lope or all of Spanish culture/literature. What I found was a historical phenomenon known as the Black Legend, a prejudice that traces its roots all the way back to the Protestant/Catholic tensions between Spain and the rest of Europe, especially its worst enemy England. It's this prejudice that has lasted us for so long, and it's this same type of prejudice that prevents us from truly seeing modern cultures such as some Middle Eastern and Asian cultures because of stereotypes and prejudices we have placed on a whole group of people. It makes you see the world differently when you have it all laid out in front of you.

Lope stood for the little people. He wrote about the passion and honor of the peasant, even if he was a player... He made contributions to the intellect, form, and evolution to the Spanish drama. That's why Lope is my new friend. I got pretty emotional as I finished the final sentences Sunday night at 12:30 in the morning, and it wasn't just because I was exhausted. I felt like I was letting go of and losing a really great friend. But Lope will always be in my mind and in history. And by the way, bringing all of those books back to the library was an unbelievable feeling.

Yeah, that's right. A whole Price Chopper shopping bag.

One of my books on the Black Legend was called Tree of Hate, and there was a hilarious picture of the professor who wrote it. He looked terrifying and like he was constantly judging you. I forgot to take a picture of it, but here is me trying to replicate it for you:

This doesn't really do it justice, especially with my Reese's bowl behind me, but you get the idea. TREE OF HATE!!!

Thanks Lope for all the fun times!

Peace out!

Interesting Weekend

This past weekend was interesting. It was very fun, just very different and full of activities. It all started on Saturday when Megan and I went to the HO Wheeler school in the North End of Burlington to help paint their gymnasium. It was a Champlain College campus-wide event that Megan as an RA made into a dorm event for The Q. It was a lot of fun and it felt amazing to help out. The principal there was extremely grateful we were all there to help make their school a better place. Megan and I helped out for about three hours cleaning up and washing paint brushes. Afterwards we drove around exploring Burlington (the North End is like a maze...) and went back to UVM to go to the Eat My Art Out dance showcase.

After a hilarious visit to Burger King (you can find some of the most interesting people at Burger King), Megan brought me to the Flynn Theatre to watch the Lucinda Childs show Dance for my dance Movement and Improvisation class.

The performance was once again...interesting...It was supposed to be an experiment in repetition, and trust me, that message was made loud and clear. The music was like a mix of Ke$ha and the New York Philharmonic, techno-orchestra I'd like to call it, and it was on repeat for each of the three dances. The choreography meanwhile was the same moves over and over and over again. It kind of put me in a hypnotic trance, but then the music would change key or the moves would change, and I would be immediately snapped out of the trance. It was weird. And they played a video of the same dance as it was filmed back in 1979 on the scrim in front of the live dancers so they moved in tandem. Extra weird...But I enjoy any occasion to go to the Flynn.

On Sunday Megan and I traversed to Royall Tyler Theatre to finish writing cues for my light lab project for my lighting class. I'm doing a light show to Lady Gaga's Born This Way. Yeah, I know. Awesome. When we got to the theatre, however, I was unnerved by the number of non-theatre people that had invaded the building. Apparently there was an international debate team competition going down in the theatre. Why? I don't know. Mess? Oh yeah.

The theatre kind of looked like a disaster zone. UPlayers had to find another meeting space because there was no space, and then I had to stick around to have a rehearsal for a class project. Meanwhile, all the senior directors for the Spring Play Festival were scrambling to find rehearsal space. Needless to say, the theatre kids of UVM were pissed. And it's not cool to get a theatre kid pissed. We kind of ban together, and that we did. We got free pizza and muffins. I'm not telling how...

Like I said, an interesting weekend.

Peace out!

Red Eye

This was a very busy yet exciting past weekend. First off, Rosie came for a visit! Rosie is a very good friend of Megan and I so it was amazing to have her here in Burlington with us. We gave her epic tours of our campuses and the city of Burlington, and hopefully we transmitted our love of Burlington to her.

Chillin' in Space!

Then Saturday night was the kick off meeting for the UPlayers Red Eye Festival! We had about twenty participants this year which made five groups, one group doing a monologue. It was so much fun, and it was really weird being on the officer side of things this year compared to last year when I was just a member of the group. I wrote one of the plays. Mine was called The Adventures of Sassy Gay Friend. It was based off of the hilarious Sassy Gay Friend videos on Youtube only I based all the shows Sassy Gay Friend visits on the shows we did at UVM this past season, and Rebecca Black, and Frankenstein just for funsies. The whole show was awesome. Congratulations UPlayers! You can watch all of the plays at the UPlayers Tumblr page.

Here was our awesome group! Alice, Gina, Zak, and me!

Peace out!

Hair. Hair. Crazy Hair.

Here are some spectacular updates or what's going on in my life:

1. I'M PRETTY STRESSED OUT but so isn't everybody around this time of the semester so I'll just skip over that one.

2. It's off! This happened awhile ago during Spring Break but I haven't gotten a chance to blog about it but all the hair I grew for Twelfth Night got cut off! Finally! I feel (and personally I think I look) much better.

Before

After

3. I got a new job! Yes folks, I got a new job for this upcoming summer. I am one of eight new Conference Assistants working at Conference and Event Services here at UVM. I get free housing during the summer and get to stay and work right here in Burlington! It's kind of like a dream come true. I'm so excited and the job is something that I'm really going to love doing, which is important. Megan is also going to be staying in Burlington during the summer working full time at Career Services at Champlain so you know there are going to be awesome adventures happening this summer. Stay tuned.

4. St. Patrick's Day and the UVM campus is normal. Everyone is going about their day, although everyone is looking a tad greener than usual. Then, on the steps of Royall Tyler Theatre, a figure emerges holding bagpipes with a group around him. It is Orion Lay-Sleeper, star of Twelfth Night, and yes...he stands on the front steps of the theatre and busts out some pipes.

It was awesome. (just sayin')

Okay, that is all for now.

Peace out!

There's A Squirrel In The Car!

This story begins with my last post and the gigantic snow storm that terrorized Vermont last week. That morning when my dad woke me up at five in the morning to dig his car out but just ended up taking my mom's car was the beginning of another horror. My dad brought a little friend with him to work, a squirrel to be exact. I can't really disclose why the squirrel came with him to work (I'm sworn to secrecy), but it did.

And somehow the squirrel got loose in the car.

My dad said the squirrel was going to jump out of the car, saw the epic blizzard of nasty poop outside, and ran back into the car. My dad searched the car, but couldn't find the pesky critter. He opened all the doors, and hopefully let the squirrel out, right?

Fast-forward a day. I'm up at Lyndon State College where my mom works to use my computer because we're in the sticks of Lyndonville, and at my house there is no internet. You know my woes. Anyway, my mom gets off work, and I decide to stay and use the computer for another hour. One second later, my mom is standing in the doorway:

"RYAN, YOU NEED TO SKIP STAYING..."


"What?"


"YOU NEED TO SKIP STAYING AND HELP ME. GUESS WHO'S IN THE CAR?"


"Who?"


"THE SQUIRREL!!!!!!!"


"WHAT!?!?!?!"

"I GO OUT TO THE CAR AND IT'S SITTING ON THE DAMN CONSOLE SUNNING ITSELF!!!!!!!!!!!"


We rush out to the parking lot where my mom had opened all the doors and the trunk hatch in an attempt to let the squirrel out. We try to look around the car and inside to find the beast, but all we find is squirrel poop. My mom is SCREAMING this entire time as I start laughing my ASS off. I laugh so hard that tears start pouring from my eyes and I almost puke on the pavement. My favorite moment of the search was when we thought the squirrel had gotten inside the glove box, so I quickly threw it open, and my mom shrieked a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream.

There was nothing there.

In a last resort, we drive the car home (panicky mind you, that the squirrel is going to jump out at us at any minute, my mom is still screaming), leave it in the driveway, open everything up again, and let our cats outside to roam around and hopefully chase the varmint out of the car. About fifteen minutes later, I look outside and see both cats inside the car and a squirrel running away. It was gone.

All I could think to myself was, oh my God, we rode in the car with the squirrel...

Peace out!

Megan's Birthday Blizzard

It rolled in like a drunken rager on a Saturday night in Burlington. It was The Great Blizzard of March 2011. Right at the beginning of spring break last week, a giant snowstorm engulfed Vermont, sending four feet of snow our way. It was also Megan's 21st birthday on Monday, the day the sky pooped a million pounds of snow. As Megan put it, Mother Nature totally stole her thunder.

The house was almost buried in snow.

I had to trudge through all of this to get to the deck to shovel it. I sunk  into it up to my hip. Awesome.

My Monday began at five in the morning when my dad woke me up to help him dig his car out of the driveway so he could get to work. Apparently when my mom tried to go to work at four in the morning, her car got stuck at the end of the driveway so my dad went out and snow blowed the driveway out while my mom walked in the crap to work. After over half an hour, we still couldn't get his car out of the driveway so he dug out my mom's car and took that to work.

Yeah, this storm was that intense.

There were some silver linings to this giant storm, however. One of which was that Megan got a new (used) car for her birthday!

Look at that, she's totally a proud owner. Megan named her Space because it totally looks like a space car. Two doors with a secret third door in the back. And a sunroof. Score.

Also, Megan's mom and gram took us on a road trip to go shopping and to Foxwoods resort and casino. We had some fun on the car ride down:

I think what stunned me the most about Foxwoods was how it was in the middle of nowhere. It was especially interesting when the GPS told us to drive the car off the freeway in order to get there. We went to the casino and ate at Fudrucker's (a name which is very easy to turn into an induendo) and ate fantastic gelato (WAY better than normal ice cream). Then Megan and I had a fun swim in the pool. Then Megan's mom found a knife under the sofa bed in our room and we went to bed. Totally normal.

There was a shower cap in the room. Sexy!

In the morning we traveled to Mohegan Sun for an amazing, and the MOST EPIC BREAKFAST BUFFET ever. I had a cute little Asian lady make me an omlette.

"What you want on your omlette hun?!?!"

"I'll have bacon, tomato, and onion."

"Hokay! How much cheese you want!? Little or a lot?!?!"

It was a fun trip, and no one lost too much money, so I would say it was successful. Now we're back in Burlington, and Space was able to make the trip back. Time for some more excellent adventures in Btown and with the new member of the family, Space the space car! Happy Birthday Megan!

Peace out!